geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

(via feathers-falling)

(via feathers-falling)

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

(via feathers-falling)

sewphia:

10 years from now people are gonna ask me how my teenage years went and I will just start crying

(Source: whiscash, via feathers-falling)

(Source: fatbluntsandhotfries, via tonights-sky)

salmiakkivodka:

If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex

But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage

But homosexuality is bad

I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with

(via xgive-your-heart-a-break)

(Source: flawlessbrunette, via xgive-your-heart-a-break)

tyleroakley:

Oklahoma Tornado Survivor Finds Missing Dog Mid-Interview

Oh my god

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

(via lilllard)

shessosumptuous:

So homosexuality is a sin but high heeled sneakers aren’t

(Source: charmslapped, via lilllard)

shirtlessboys:

by bearandvodka

drunkblogging:

shout out to my main squeeze jack daniels 

(via ambivale-nt)

(Source: americansuicide)

You know it’s bad when your drinking wine so bad that you want plug your nose to drink